What percentage of female INFJs in your opinion would secretly desire a dominant partner even if her's and partner's principled nature would not allow themselves selfish advantages over the other? You have different values, you have a logical 'right' answer, and she has an answer that feels 'right', you both need to try and create a win win, if you cannot one of you will have to let the other have this one. In my experience with INFJs, you will have to do more work towards mutual accommodation, logic being better able to follow emotions than emotions can discern good logic.
I think she may just want leverage of non commitment. If it goes to shit you will be in her area and the one who moved. This is an interesting point, cause committing to moving out of state would have some pretty strong negative feelings if she is unsure about the relationship. But I think OP needs to work on her level, that is, ask her how she feels about either option. OP, you should check if she has any negative feelings about moving where you are and ask her if those are rooted in fear that the relationship will end.
If she's afraid the relationship might end I think neither of you should be relocating to the other or you need to erase those fears so she can be comfortable with either option then approach the problem logically. Oh and one more thing, sometimes women just have a good sense of things or gut feeling concerning decisions.
Misadventures with INTJs - Pros and cons of an INFJ dating an INTJ?
If she feels very strongly that you should be the one to relocate and its not because she's afraid of the relationship ending I think you might need to trust her feelings. I think it would be hard for INFJs to be honest about that footer. They tend to try to convince themselves that they arent selfish. And I mean this in the most human way. I think OP could benifit from a long talk about why she wants it. Like OP said, his reasons are more logical and less emotional.
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This really cannot be a temporary relationship. Ni ensures that you two are always thinking about the endpoint. It really needs to be long term, or at the very least indefinite. It pays to learn how to say things in a nicer way, and you can count on INFJ leading by example.
INFJ wants to know why, how, for how long, what they should do, etc. INFJ has a habit of wanting to split their partners wide open and know how they tick. They need to learn to be patient and let INTJ open up on their own time. For Ni-doms, we have a nasty habit of thinking we know what another person is thinking better than that person knows themselves. But in relationships, that can get us in a lot of trouble. INTJs would rather clam up than tell a lie.